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美国众多 发表于 2019-10-13 11:39:11 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式 打印 上一主题 下一主题



  拉开窗帘,回忆就停在胸前,回忆总是组成我生活的绝大部分,因此,我显得清醒抑或冷静。

  看过亦舒的《阿修罗》里的一段话:

  “人总会往回想。

  思潮一直飞回去,飞回去,去到老远老远的悲欢离合,甚至去到年轻时一个美丽的五月早晨。

  回忆通常苦乐掺半,对一般人来说,最远的追思不过是去到童年,六七岁摸样不甚懂事,却拥有无限宠爱,时常为很小的事情,像一颗水晶糖果或一支铅笔,磨在祖父母或姑妈舅舅之类的身边大半天,最后,总能得到他所需要的东西,这是童年的精华:不劳而获.″

  这一段话,对我这样一个善感的人,是可以造成大半天的发呆的.可笑且郁闷地呆.

  独自一个人,坐在玻璃窗的前面看着电脑屏幕.眼前浮现的点点滴滴,真的有泪液的辛咸钻入了我的嘴.

  那是种瑟瑟的感觉.我仿佛又回到了六七岁的夏天.和一个小伙伴在一去对着镜子咿咿呀呀地唱″对你爱爱爱不″和″快到苹果乐园来″;

  因为热,和小伙伴一人买了一把纸扇,却为着我的扇子好看些,两人不和,互撕扇子,双方都哭了,不到一小时就又当什么事也没发生过;

  在楼下嬉戏,却被一个长得肥嘟嘟的大孩子欺负,我看不过,明知道会被打得鼻青脸肿,也一定要和他争个高下;

  隔壁的男生天天梳头,唱流行歌曲,搞得他自己不知道该当″红星″还是″巨星″.

  大多数的时候,我是一个人的.往往听到隔壁传来嬉笑声,也不为所动.小时候,我们住的是7平米的单间职工宿舍,不知怎么的,和我年龄相仿背景相似的小孩在我住的地方的别多,南昌抗白癜风医院提示您关注这些护理每天都在玩着你不理我我不理的勾当.所以,我不干了,我一个人玩.

  当时在热播《射雕英雄传》.翁美玲每个周六周日都在晚上10点准时和我见面.一个小孩在10点之后睡觉是很可怕的,更何况是在10点才开始活动.而我的笔记本里也抄了厚厚的一本她的资料,贴纸更珍为国宝.就连现在我听到罗文演唱的主题曲也激动不已.

  后来,展转搬了家,童年的伙伴便从此散了伙.想找也无处寻了.

  寻寻觅觅,在无声无息中消逝.

  为了唱好刘德华的广东歌《一起走过的日子》,我千辛万苦找到了国语版,跟着唱,又唧唧歪北京中科医院详谈儿童白癜风治疗歪地吐生硬的根本听不出是广东话还是闽南语的粤风雨十载感恩有你 健康关爱真诚回报 北京中科白癜风医院语.

  我还是一个人玩,习惯了孤单.看电视成了我唯一的精神寄托.我爱看大人叫做″太疯癫″的港台电视台.也爱跟着电视里的年轻歌手跳舞.至今我也还能清楚记得叶倩文在《潇洒走一回》里″红尘呀滚滚″时的动作,真的疯魔呀.

  大哥哥喜欢张雨生,四大天王,周慧敏,潘美辰.大姐姐喜欢小虎队,陈慧娴,四大天王.耳濡目染,我也喜欢.这就是盲从与早熟的我.

  请相信我们明天一定会再见,就像白云离不开蓝天.

  小虎队要解散了.第一次听着一首歌哭了.真心地希望他们别离开,谁知道,一切都留不住,一切的美好终将消散.天下无不散之筵席.这个残酷的现让我在那一次真正地明白了.泪水也在那一次后,无止尽地在我心中流成了河.

  我遇见了P,漂亮,清爽.我们成了最好的朋友.但相思.那时我小学5年级.

  你认识林志颖吗?P问.

  认识,很漂亮,很帅.我答.

  从此,我和她的语言也少了,就像现在这样的简单问答,场面尴尬.她和我远了.她只顾追逐自己的爱,自己心中的林志颖.而我又在那泪水的河流上睡着了.其实我并没有哭.

  哥哥告诉我,小虎队又重组了.笑容依旧,连歌也叫《星光依旧灿烂》.

  听了一夜,枕头湿了一片.哭,似乎成了日常生活的一部分.我是孤独的.

  大人们都赞我本分.成绩优异.但谁又知道,我总在被窝里偷偷地哭成了大海呢?

  对呀!男生要勇敢呀!

  继续成长,继续孤寂.

  小时候的玩伴在我13岁时,都成了遇见都不打招呼的陌生人了.心中苦水像决了堤.

  MERRY CHIRSTMAS!圣诞快乐!谁会陪你渡过你的温柔.

  刚上初一的那年圣诞节,我前所未有的在人前哭了。止不住地哭了。下午还高高兴兴地和班上的同学到山坡上去砍了一棵树回来装点成圣诞树。一个平常交好的高年级学姐冲进来,凶狠狠地对我吼,又一个高年级学长对我拳脚相向。我真的吓到了,终于在别人开心地唱着圣诞快乐歌的时候,我坐在凳子上,泪如泉涌。我努力不抬头,尽量不让人发现,也不给任何的动作,只是低着头。可泪水好象不管我的意愿,背叛我的朋友那样用湿透的裤管狠狠地揭穿了我的脆弱所带的面具。

  朋友们对我的微笑温馨的关怀,并不能阻止我的眼泪,却像催化剂一样越发增多了流量。

  后来,我找到了4个好朋友,真的朋友,在一场不明原因又不知结果的打架中结识的。直到现在,也是最温暖的。

  那是我的叛逆期。

  不要教训我,不要说我堕落,我的世界只有我的生活。

  我彻夜不回家,打架,,抽烟,喝酒,谈恋爱。那个女孩叫佳。可爱。我和她交往的过程,也是她堕落的过程。我一直搞不清楚,是我拖累了她,还是她害了我。

  我开始无限制地买各种各样的音乐,杂志,书籍。

  直到我被残酷的现实击垮。我决定继续读高中,而他们,我的死党还有佳,却选择了读职高,更快捷的堕落过程。

  再一次听《听海》也哭了。很久很久没哭了,那种熟悉的酸涩与痛快让我呆呆地不知说什么做什么,一时间也失去了方向感,迷失了道路,也辜负了一个女孩。

  艳同我一样,喜欢谈论音乐和书籍。我们共同喜欢伊能静,却因为张惠妹的歌而痛哭。朋友都说她对不起我,而我却认为我在令他痛苦。

  当我接到她那封信时,我在听张国荣。妖媚,迷惑。我进入了幻境。

  那年圣诞。我没笑过。朋友问我,我没答。在夜里,我常常一个人痴呆地楞一两个小时脑子里都是一片空白。

  这让我想起初中的一个女生,在她被学校开除之后,我就再也没见过她。她是第一个把欲望和热情摆在我面前的女孩,我却没有珍惜。

  迷上了周星驰与王家卫的电影。喜剧把我看哭了,反倒是报道说哭死全球的《TITANIC》却使我防声大笑了。

  喜欢王家卫拼贴似的画面。支离,破碎,却又不至于太散地围绕同一个圆转不停。

  丁清瘦,白,性感。可从来不给我她的爱。在炎炎的夏日里,我的欲望泛滥成灾。

  火灭了。是因为成长,是希望成长。

  那一盏盏回忆点的灯火,忽名忽暗,在心中盘旋不去,是爱是恨,也已不再重要。我只伸直双臂,迎接风,听风。

  再次听到小虎队,再次听到那首第一次让我有落泪感的《再见》,我的泪也已决堤。风不再停,只此一次吧!

  要说再见真的很伤感,只要梦依旧香甜。当蜻蜓不再飞翔,当蝴蝶不再流浪,我的心已告别青苹果,只有爱依旧灿烂。

    

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MichaelScads 发表于 2019-10-13 11:53:11 | 显示全部楼层
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